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_What does respect mean to me?

 I was given the breath of life twenty six years ago and shared my mother’s womb with my best friend forever. We were born a mere thirty seconds a part by cesarean section. My mother was stitched up with fishing line and developed a staph infection shortly after giving birth to us. We were born during the eighties on an Indian Reservation where doctors sterilized Indian women without their consent. I don’t think her bang up stitch job came much as a surprise to her, but when I first learned this, I vowed to myself, my mother, and my God that I would always appreciate what I have and who I am.

So here I sit today, in the middle of my Indian Reservation (Yes, I personalized this place to be my own.)  I ponder my life on a daily basis, always wondering what I can do to make life ‘"better"’ for people here. I know whatever it is that I choose to do,  I will approach everything with respect for life. I also know that before I can even attempt change anywhere, I must begin with myself. This inner change in me must always begin with my respect for life.

Respect is a way of living. It is being aware of not only myself and my capabilities, but being aware of everything around me.  My awareness is what helps me appreciate being alive, which allows me to appreciate all other living things.  Being grateful and having appreciation for everything opens and unlocks the door to holding respect and keeping it.  We can lose respect for ourselves, other people or even God, but we can also gain it back.

I know respect isn’t just given to anyone or anything. I must earn your respect; therefore I have to respect myself first.  If I don’t respect myself, then who will? I believe compassion and respect hold hands tightly. Their fingers are linked together like old high school sweethearts.  Compassion is the ability to look through another person’s eyes. I think compassion, gratitude, and respect are the droplets that make up the much needed spring rain storm of love.

Sunny Clifford is a member of the Oglala Sioux Tribe and lives in Kyle, SD.  
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_ Four years ago, on a monthly work trip to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota, I helped a bright, articulate 17-year-old girl apply for admission to a residential job training program.  The application required her to disclose whether or not she had children, and I was taken aback when she indicated that she had given birth to her third child just three weeks earlier. 

At the time, I was nearly twice her age and pregnant with my third child.  I was well aware of the emotional roller-coaster of childbearing and the stress and physical exhaustion of childbirth—let alone the sometimes terrifying task of caring for a tiny newborn.  I was in awe that this young girl had endured this process three times in her short life and was trying her best to find a way to beat the odds and better herself—even when it likely meant she would have to temporarily give up her children.

I don’t know what ever came of this young woman, but I think about her often.  I like to think that she earned an education and is happily raising her children somewhere, but I know that statistics say otherwise.   The odds are that she is probably still out there struggling.  It is very possible that she’s had more children.  I don’t know the circumstances of how she became pregnant so often in her youth, but I know that statistics also say that it’s very likely she was sexually assaulted at one point in her life, or, sadly, she will be a victim in the future.

Most of us are well aware of the statistic that one of every five women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and Native American women and girls face a much higher risk, with one of every three falling victim.  My personal experiences with young indigenous women, however, tell me that the number is likely even higher than that.  A recent online survey conducted by Project Respect.Org indicated that over 60% of Native women questioned between the ages `of 16 and 62 have been assaulted, the vast majority of them never reporting the abuse.

I founded Project Respect.Org in the fall of 2011 because, as we know, this ugly issue has been ignored far too long.  A recent chilling public service campaign from the Indian Law Resource Center and the 1491s hauntingly states that when it comes to addressing sexual assaults in Indian Country, most of us, Native and non-Natives alike, have been overwhelmingly complacent. With that said, it is important to acknowledge the organizations that are making efforts to stop this epidemic, including the Indian Law Resource Center, the Native Women’s Society of the Great Plains, the Sicangu Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence and others.    

It is equally important to acknowledge that the epidemic of sexual violence against Native American youth is not solely an “Indian” problem.  It is everyone’s problem; Native, non-Native, young, old, gay and straight.  And it’s your problem.   The trickle down effect of sexual violence- regardless of the community- reaches us all at some point.  Just as the problem of sexual violence was largely introduced to Native culture through colonization by non-Natives, it needs to end with the help of non-Natives. 

And while the issue of sexual assault remains a grim topic, Project Respect.Org aims to create a new form of prevention that focuses on respect, beauty, education and hope.   We will do it through art, writing, social media tools and community interventions that focus on boys and men as much as it focuses on girls and women.  We will do it with cultural understanding and shared values.    

Every person that gets involved, by doing something as simple as sharing a positive blog post or a Facebook status that addresses this issue, or stopping a friend from saying something derogatory about someone else-- it all starts a movement.  A movement that isn’t only for people like the young mother I met four years ago and her children, but for my children too.  It’s everyone’s movement.  In time, we won’t just be winning the war on sexual violence; we’ll be winning something much greater.  Something we may not have been able to put our finger on just yet, but we’re getting closer to it with every person that gets involved; every person that does something.   And it all starts with respect.

You can help us to kick start our movement by making a secure $10 donation through Fundly at https://fundly.com/donate/AxN0GnFAa8

Holly Sortland is the Founder and Executive Director of Project Respect.Org. Contact her at hsortland@projectrespect.org



 

 

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In October 2011, Senator Daniel Akaka (D-HI) introduced the Stand Against Violence and Empower Native Women (SAVE Native Women) Act.  The bill would provide Indian Country with jurisdiction over non-Indians who commit crimes on Indian lands, improve the Native programs under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), and improve data gathering programs to better understand and respond to sex trafficking of Native women.

South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson is a co-sponsor of the bill.  For more information about the SAVE Native Women Act, visit http://akaka.senate.gov/upload/s1763.pdf
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Ryan Red Corn of Buffalo Nickle Creative created this amazing video on behalf of the Indian Law Resource Center.  Watch and share! And then watch it again.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=AUt6sxF2s2U

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